After my last post I have been doing a lot of inward searching, "what is it I want to do?" "Who am I really?" "What is my purpose?" And thankfully I found an answer, at the only place one can actually find a true and perfect answer.
"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious for tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. " -Matt 6:33-34
I realized that I had been looking in all the wrong places, trying to figure out what kind of job would be best for me. Although those are still issues, and I still don't have the answer to them, I feel more at peace about it than I have in a long time. I realize I DON'T have the answers. And-amazingly enough- THAT'S OKAY. I don't need to know, because He does. And in time He will show me what to do and where to go, but right now all He asks of me is to seek Him whole heartedly and let everything else fall into place in due time. It's not an easy thing for one who likes to be able to be in control, but I realize that my hard-headed stubbornness is something that needs to be overcome and He is asking me to do what I have the hardest time doing- trusting. And so I have to overcome my fears, and do what I almost never do, I have to trust someone. Thankfully that someone is God, and I happen to know that he has my best interest at heart. Even though sometimes I don't agree with His methods at the time. :)
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