Saturday, September 25, 2010

To be or not to be?

"Life is short", it's a saying I've been hearing since I was little. Normally it ends with "so do something." or other versions along those lines. But lately I've been wondering how people actually intend you to take that? Does it mean that they think you should follow in their example and lead a life like their own? Maybe they mean for you to be more adventurous and live the life of a gypsy (I have to say this one appeals to me). Or perhaps just that you should make the most out of each situation and not take a day for granted. Whatever they mean by it, it just got me to thinking about my own life.

I want my life to count for something, I want to do something meaningful, but what? Now here's where I get stuck. I could be a doctor, but I hate science. I could go into acting which I've always loved, but pretentious people annoy me. I could become a psychologist, but then I'd have to go through 8 more years of school and write and defend a thesis, not something I jump at I assure you. As I was thinking of my own dilemma, I began to wonder how many others feel the same way I do. We are all told to go to college, to finish high school. I uphold these ideals as much as the next person. But we were given this formula as though it would give you the key to success, and just go to college and everything will just fall into place for you. But it doesn't work like that. There are decisions you have to make along the way that make a difference in your future. What major, what minor, which classes to take, where to volunteer, who you meet. But even with all of these, it by no means leads you to happiness. How is it that I have met so many people who have finished with school but just have no idea what to do with their lives now. We completed the equation to find out that the answer is 0.

Its frustrating not having your career set out for you, not knowing exactly what it is that you want to do, not even sure what you're really good at. It makes you feel like the last kid picked for the dodge ball game. But even though its impossible to know the future, I know that I have an advantage. Although I may not know my career, or where I am going to be in 5 years, I know that while I do not know these things, there is one who does and He will help me along the way. So here's to not knowing what's going on, but walking ahead anyway, one step at a time.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Beginnings

I realized just how horrible I have been about posting on this blog. I started it a while back to keep people up to date with my daily life, especially as those I love no longer live right next door to me. It's been over a year since I last posted, and what a year it has been. So much has happened, but one of the biggest is I moved across the country.

For 6 months I lived in Berkeley, CA. It was gorgeous there. The weather was between 55 and 72 degrees daily. Being on the San Francisco Bay with breathtaking views was truly and experience. Sadly I don't have many pictures as my camera is lost battery power and I couldn't find my charger, oh and I lost my USB cable. Are you noticing a trend?

I always thought that the pictures of San Francisco must be altered some to make it look prettier, and that the pictures of the golden gate bridge must be taken at special occasions when it could really look that beautiful and have the fog hit it in just such a way. But I quickly found out that California is just a land of fairy tales and beauty. Driving to IKEA we would look to our right and the bay would lay out before us like a cool and serene gem with the city in the background. It's amazing how quickly we become accustomed to such magnificence and it becomes 'normal'. I appreciate it doubly now that I am back home in North Carolina.

I had adventures, learned a lot about myself, thought I was going to get murdered, was on the bridge when there was a suicide attempt, got lost, befriended homeless people, had a random person smoking crack in my neighbors back yard, made friends, lived in a place I never thought I would, saw beauty, walked into as many art galleries as I could, and had an all around experience. It is easy to glorify things more when you are no longer there. I am not saying it was an easy experience. It pushed me in every single way, but I know that we can only grow from our experiences. I can honestly say that I know that being back in NC is the right thing for me at the moment, but I have absolutely no regrets moving out to CA.